You Know You're from when if | Oldest You Know Jokes! (Page 1 of 67)

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You know you're in Texas if...

The Mexican food is gooood. The BBQ is gooood. Shoot, all the food is gooood.
Every other block there is either an adult novelty toy store, BBQ restaurant, dollar store, or church
Mosquitos are biting at Christmas
Every place you go you can see people wearing shirts or caps for Texas A&M;or the University of Texas
It is the mid of winter and the AC is running

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You don't own an American car.
You ate 4 bowls of rice, then five minutes after, your parents ask you if you want to eat 4 more bowls.
Your parents can only help you with the math assignments and no other subjects.
Your parents always criticize you, criticize others, and criticize each other.
Your parents are attracted to the English words of: "99 cents" or "FREE."

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Your co-worker tells you they have 8 body piercings but none are visible.
When you go out, you make sure you've grabbed your water bottle before checking to see if you've got your wallet and keys.
You've been to more than one baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You don't mind parking a mile away as long as it's in the shade.
You know that anyone wearing pants in November is just visiting from Ohio.

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You believe not all patients are annoying ... some are unconscious.
You've been telling stories in a restaurant and had someone at another table throw up.
You finger has gone places you never thought possible.
You believe every patient needs TLC: Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.
You can tell the pharmacist more about the medicines he is dispensing than he can.

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You always refer to the left or right as the "correct" side and not the "right" side.
You don't own a stethoscope anymore after you lost the last five during medical school and residency.
You fall asleep as soon as you hit horizontal.
You wear a stiffly starched white coat buttoned up at all times. (perhaps to hide the fact that you wear scrubs all the time).
You use unused OR sutures and a needle driver to mend your clothing and darn your socks.

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You have extra pharmacopeias and Sanford's ID guide in ALL of your bags. You are not even a doctor without your cheat books.
You don't care what you wear to work. The White Coat covers all fashion atrocities and physical shortcomings (there is a reason why brides wear white).
You use Harrison's Textbook or some other useless reference medical text book that you bought in training as seat elevators for your children.
You always wonder who's more talented at sewing: Surgeons or Seamestresses?
You freak out when your toddler has flushed your Pharmacopeia down the toilet, and you even contemplate about retrieving it and using the blowdryer to salvage your trusted little pharmacopeia.

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You know where to find Dim Sum, Sushi, Curry, Pad Thai and a dildo at 3 am on a weeknight
You know that the real name of the Rogers Center is the Skydome
When the new pedestrian lights start counting down ten seconds for you to cross a 6 lane expressway
You're proud great actors like Jim Carey, Mike Myers, and John Candy are from your hometown.
You haven't been to the CN Tower since you were six, but still have nightmares about that damn turbo elevator

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