Raw Foodist Jokes
You know you are a Raw Foodist when......
- Added by Kristen Thai, September 16, 2008 at 11:21pm.
- 5 comments
- 8843 views
Raw Foodist Jokes
Top 10 Reasons You know you are a Raw Foodist:
- The Date People love hearing from you.53 up, 22 down
- Your oven is additional storage space.48 up, 25 down
- You forget what's in the dairy section.49 up, 31 down
- You dream of the tropics and men in palm trees throwing down coconuts.45 up, 28 down
- You eat until you are full with a perfectly clear conscience.49 up, 32 down
- You drink a lot of your meals.45 up, 29 down
- The pounds you"ve dropped will never come back.43 up, 27 down
- You donate your can opener to the local charity.46 up, 31 down
- Your spouse complains that your breath always smells like grass.45 up, 31 down
- You find out iceberg isn't the only lettuce out there.47 up, 33 down
More about "Raw Foodist"
Are you are "raw foodist?" See how many reasons you can relate too.toggle meta
More reasons You know you are a Raw Foodist
- You know how to fix bananas 40 different ways (and counting).45 up, 32 down
- You decide that your animals should eat raw, too.45 up, 32 down
- The kitchen and the bathroom are your favorite rooms of the house, in that order.47 up, 35 down
- You spend more time having thoughts about digestion than sex.46 up, 34 down
- You know all the produce people in the area on a first name basis.45 up, 33 down
- You watch the Food Network to see what you aren?t eating.46 up, 34 down
- You brush your teeth with soap.42 up, 31 down
- You find out iceberg isn't the only lettuce out there.42 up, 31 down
- You've developed a sudden interest in gardening and farmers' markets.42 up, 31 down
- You walk down the aisle with all the small appliances and have absolutely no desire to buy a new crockpot.41 up, 31 down
- You are concerned about getting enough calories instead of too many.44 up, 34 down
- You decide that your animals should eat raw, too.48 up, 39 down
- You eat until you are full with a perfectly clear conscience.44 up, 35 down
- Nothing you eat tastes remotely like chicken.43 up, 34 down
- You never have to wonder what to bring to a "covered dish" meal.41 up, 32 down
- Your recipes don't say anything about baking, boiling, or frying.41 up, 33 down
- Your stove grows cobwebs like Phyllis Diller's iron.43 up, 35 down
- You carry a wet washcloth in a baggie to un-sticky fingers while eating.42 up, 34 down
- You buy more mangoes in a week than you used to all year long.42 up, 34 down
- You carry a wet washcloth in a baggie to un-sticky fingers while eating.44 up, 36 down
- You see an overweight person and you think, "Cooked food, cooked food."40 up, 32 down
- You get banned from every "all you can eat" salad bar in the area.42 up, 35 down
- Juicy Fruit isn't just a brand of gum any more.38 up, 31 down
- You learn about foods you never knew existed.38 up, 31 down
- You watch the Food Network to see what you aren't eating.41 up, 35 down
- People give you fruit baskets for Christmas.39 up, 33 down
- You are the produce guy's best friend or worst nightmare, depending on the quality of the food.43 up, 37 down
- The kitchen and the bathroom are your favorite rooms of the house, in that order.42 up, 37 down
- Nothing you eat tastes remotely like chicken.36 up, 31 down
- At first, people are interested in hearing about your lifestyle but after you talk for a minute or two, their eyes glaze over.38 up, 34 down
- You take your quart jars for serving smoothies instead of canning.38 up, 34 down
- Your oven is additional storage space.40 up, 36 down
- You brush your teeth with soap.34 up, 30 down
- You remember how it was when you?d visit the produce section at ALL the stores just looking for spinach and couldn't find any.35 up, 31 down
- You walk down the aisle with all the small appliances and have absolutely no desire to buy a new crockpot.37 up, 34 down
- You turn the top of your stove into a plant stand.38 up, 35 down
- You never buy clothes that fit. You buy them slightly too small so you can wear them longer.40 up, 37 down
- You aren't embarrassed if someone has to go into the bathroom behind you.39 up, 36 down
- You cut recipes in half or even less to "try before you buy".40 up, 37 down
- You are the only one in the crowd who knows who the Frederic Patenaude is.36 up, 33 down
- You see an overweight person and you think, "Cooked food, cooked food."39 up, 37 down
- Your kitchen looks like the produce section at the local market.40 up, 38 down
- You turn the top of your stove into a plant stand.39 up, 37 down
- You don't recall the last time you stopped by the "other side" of the super market.39 up, 37 down
- Your recipes don"t say anything about baking, boiling, or frying.38 up, 36 down
- You learn about foods you never knew existed.39 up, 38 down
- You go down the canned food aisle and feel like you?re in a foreign country.34 up, 33 down
- Your relatives stop inviting you over for Thanksgiving.36 up, 35 down
- The pounds you've dropped will never come back.38 up, 37 down
- You?re thrilled when there's a sale on bananas.39 up, 38 down
- The blender is the most important appliance in the kitchen.38 up, 37 down
- You take your quart jars for serving smoothies instead of canning.33 up, 32 down
- You hoard your pots and pans so you can sell them on eBay after you retire.38 up, 37 down
- You drink a lot of your meals.34 up, 33 down
- You trade in Rice Krispy Treats for dates.36 up, 36 down
- You learn which cashiers handle your bananas with tender loving care.32 up, 32 down
- You forget what's in the dairy section.38 up, 38 down
- You spend more time having thoughts about digestion than sex.35 up, 35 down
- Your siblings begin to envy you when the holidays are right around the corner.39 up, 39 down
- You're on a mission to try every kind of fruit that grows on Mother Earth.35 up, 36 down
- You don't read labels any more.35 up, 36 down
- You tell the cashier "Be careful! That will bruise!" and you get a dirty look.36 up, 37 down
- You say, "Breakfast will be ready in a second" and it really is?in as much time as it takes to peel a banana.37 up, 38 down
- You don't burn your tongue when you're eating.37 up, 39 down
- You cut recipes in half or even less to "try before you buy".38 up, 40 down
- You hoard your pots and pans so you can sell them on eBay after you retire.39 up, 41 down
- You don't recall the last time you stopped by the "other side" of the super market.38 up, 40 down
- You say, "Breakfast will be ready in a second" and it really is?in as much time as it takes to peel a banana.40 up, 42 down
- You don't avoid looking at your reflection as you walk toward a glass door.32 up, 34 down
- You don't make a list before you go food shopping. You buy whatever looks good that you can afford. And bananas. Always bananas.35 up, 38 down
- Your siblings begin to envy you when the holidays are right around the corner.37 up, 41 down
- A dinner salad in a restaurant is an appetizer.34 up, 38 down
- You love the sun and it loves you back.38 up, 42 down
- You can?t use the excuse you slaved over a hot stove all day.36 up, 42 down
- You're glad you never got around to buying a new oven or range.32 up, 38 down
- You learn a new language?811rv, Optimal Raw Food Diet, proper food combining, sequential eating.35 up, 42 down
- You go down the canned food aisle and feel like you're in a foreign country.34 up, 43 down
- You don"t buy food in boxes and cans any more.34 up, 44 down
