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Raw Foodist Jokes

You know you are a Raw Foodist when......



Raw Foodist Jokes

Top 10 Reasons You know you are a Raw Foodist:

  1. The Date People love hearing from you.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    63 up, 38 down
  2. Your oven is additional storage space.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    61 up, 38 down
  3. You forget what's in the dairy section.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    64 up, 43 down
  4. Your spouse complains that your breath always smells like grass.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    61 up, 40 down
  5. You drink a lot of your meals.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    62 up, 43 down
  6. You eat until you are full with a perfectly clear conscience.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    63 up, 44 down
  7. The pounds you"ve dropped will never come back.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 38 down
  8. You find out iceberg isn't the only lettuce out there.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    62 up, 44 down
  9. You donate your can opener to the local charity.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    62 up, 44 down
  10. You've developed a sudden interest in gardening and farmers' markets.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 40 down


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More reasons You know you are a Raw Foodist

  1. You dream of the tropics and men in palm trees throwing down coconuts.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 40 down
  2. You know how to fix bananas 40 different ways (and counting).
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    59 up, 43 down
  3. You find out iceberg isn't the only lettuce out there.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    58 up, 44 down
  4. You know all the produce people in the area on a first name basis.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 43 down
  5. You get banned from every "all you can eat" salad bar in the area.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    59 up, 46 down
  6. You spend more time having thoughts about digestion than sex.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    58 up, 47 down
  7. You watch the Food Network to see what you aren?t eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    59 up, 48 down
  8. You walk down the aisle with all the small appliances and have absolutely no desire to buy a new crockpot.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 46 down
  9. You are the produce guy's best friend or worst nightmare, depending on the quality of the food.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    59 up, 49 down
  10. You decide that your animals should eat raw, too.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 47 down
  11. You brush your teeth with soap.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    56 up, 47 down
  12. The kitchen and the bathroom are your favorite rooms of the house, in that order.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 48 down
  13. You eat until you are full with a perfectly clear conscience.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    57 up, 48 down
  14. You carry a wet washcloth in a baggie to un-sticky fingers while eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    55 up, 46 down
  15. You buy more mangoes in a week than you used to all year long.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    55 up, 46 down
  16. You see an overweight person and you think, "Cooked food, cooked food."
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 45 down
  17. You are concerned about getting enough calories instead of too many.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 45 down
  18. Your relatives stop inviting you over for Thanksgiving.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    52 up, 44 down
  19. Your oven is additional storage space.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    55 up, 47 down
  20. You cut recipes in half or even less to "try before you buy".
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    58 up, 50 down
  21. Your recipes don't say anything about baking, boiling, or frying.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 47 down
  22. Juicy Fruit isn't just a brand of gum any more.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 43 down
  23. Nothing you eat tastes remotely like chicken.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    56 up, 49 down
  24. You take your quart jars for serving smoothies instead of canning.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 46 down
  25. Your stove grows cobwebs like Phyllis Diller's iron.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    55 up, 49 down
  26. You never buy clothes that fit. You buy them slightly too small so you can wear them longer.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    56 up, 50 down
  27. You carry a wet washcloth in a baggie to un-sticky fingers while eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 48 down
  28. Nothing you eat tastes remotely like chicken.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    48 up, 42 down
  29. You never have to wonder what to bring to a "covered dish" meal.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 45 down
  30. You decide that your animals should eat raw, too.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    59 up, 54 down
  31. You go down the canned food aisle and feel like you?re in a foreign country.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 46 down
  32. You forget what's in the dairy section.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 49 down
  33. The kitchen and the bathroom are your favorite rooms of the house, in that order.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    55 up, 51 down
  34. You learn about foods you never knew existed.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 45 down
  35. At first, people are interested in hearing about your lifestyle but after you talk for a minute or two, their eyes glaze over.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 47 down
  36. You learn about foods you never knew existed.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 50 down
  37. You're on a mission to try every kind of fruit that grows on Mother Earth.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    52 up, 49 down
  38. You trade in Rice Krispy Treats for dates.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 47 down
  39. You see an overweight person and you think, "Cooked food, cooked food."
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 51 down
  40. You don't recall the last time you stopped by the "other side" of the super market.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 51 down
  41. You turn the top of your stove into a plant stand.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 47 down
  42. You watch the Food Network to see what you aren't eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    53 up, 51 down
  43. The blender is the most important appliance in the kitchen.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    52 up, 50 down
  44. Your kitchen looks like the produce section at the local market.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    52 up, 50 down
  45. You brush your teeth with soap.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    46 up, 44 down
  46. You remember how it was when you?d visit the produce section at ALL the stores just looking for spinach and couldn't find any.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    47 up, 45 down
  47. You hoard your pots and pans so you can sell them on eBay after you retire.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 53 down
  48. You don't read labels any more.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 49 down
  49. The pounds you've dropped will never come back.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 50 down
  50. You?re thrilled when there's a sale on bananas.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    54 up, 53 down
  51. You aren't embarrassed if someone has to go into the bathroom behind you.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 50 down
  52. You don't avoid looking at your reflection as you walk toward a glass door.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    47 up, 46 down
  53. You take your quart jars for serving smoothies instead of canning.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    47 up, 46 down
  54. You don't recall the last time you stopped by the "other side" of the super market.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 50 down
  55. You cut recipes in half or even less to "try before you buy".
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    56 up, 56 down
  56. You learn which cashiers handle your bananas with tender loving care.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    42 up, 42 down
  57. A dinner salad in a restaurant is an appetizer.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 50 down
  58. You tell the cashier "Be careful! That will bruise!" and you get a dirty look.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    48 up, 48 down
  59. People give you fruit baskets for Christmas.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 49 down
  60. You are the only one in the crowd who knows who the Frederic Patenaude is.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    46 up, 46 down
  61. You don't burn your tongue when you're eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 51 down
  62. You say, "Breakfast will be ready in a second" and it really is?in as much time as it takes to peel a banana.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    52 up, 53 down
  63. You spend more time having thoughts about digestion than sex.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    46 up, 47 down
  64. Your recipes don"t say anything about baking, boiling, or frying.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 50 down
  65. You walk down the aisle with all the small appliances and have absolutely no desire to buy a new crockpot.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    47 up, 49 down
  66. You say, "Breakfast will be ready in a second" and it really is?in as much time as it takes to peel a banana.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 51 down
  67. You don't make a list before you go food shopping. You buy whatever looks good that you can afford. And bananas. Always bananas.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    48 up, 51 down
  68. You hoard your pots and pans so you can sell them on eBay after you retire.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 53 down
  69. You can?t use the excuse you slaved over a hot stove all day.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 55 down
  70. You love the sun and it loves you back.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 54 down
  71. You learn a new language?811rv, Optimal Raw Food Diet, proper food combining, sequential eating.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 55 down
  72. Your siblings begin to envy you when the holidays are right around the corner.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    49 up, 54 down
  73. You're glad you never got around to buying a new oven or range.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    44 up, 50 down
  74. You turn the top of your stove into a plant stand.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    51 up, 57 down
  75. You go down the canned food aisle and feel like you're in a foreign country.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    50 up, 56 down
  76. You drink a lot of your meals.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    46 up, 52 down
  77. Your siblings begin to envy you when the holidays are right around the corner.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    46 up, 53 down
  78. You don"t buy food in boxes and cans any more.
    by Kristen Thai | September 17, 2008 at 10:48pm. | add comment
    47 up, 57 down

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