You Know You Are a Serb When...
- Added by youknowster, October 3, 2008 at 3:09am.
- 1 comment
- 11394 views
Top 10 Reasons You Know You Are a Serb:
- Your mother insists that "promaja" will kill you27 up, 6 down
- Your Baba calls all cereal "Corn Flakes".24 up, 5 down
- Your father calls you a "dummy" for not knowing how to do something he can't either.16 up, 3 down
- You get mad when somebody says that you speak Yugoslavian20 up, 7 down
- When your Dad tries to make you dring "Rasola" (kupus juice), and tries desparately to convince you how good it is!16 up, 4 down
- Your dad starts to swear obsessively whenever he watches CNN.14 up, 3 down
- When your friends' parents talk to you like they're YOUR PARENTS too.13 up, 2 down
- You know you're Serbian when all you have to do is sniffle and your parents (almost gladly) say, "Uh- huh" and start yelling at you for getting sick14 up, 3 down
- You tell Americans where you are from and you end up explaining the entire history of Yugoslavia12 up, 2 down
- Your uncle makes his own wine that is stronger than rakija15 up, 6 down
More about "Serb"
Serbs are a South Slavic people living in the Balkans and Central Europe, mainly in Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia-Herzegovina, and, to a lesser extent, in Croatia.[+] Post a Comment
More reasons You Know You Are a Serb
- Your Dad tells you "kad sam ja bio u tvoje godine...."12 up, 3 down
- You must wear papucas (slippers) at all times so you don't catch cold13 up, 4 down
- You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.11 up, 3 down
- There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.11 up, 3 down
- You think everything is a conspiracy15 up, 7 down
- There's a slab of fat in your fridge called "slanina"10 up, 2 down
- At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"14 up, 6 down
- When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry10 up, 2 down
- "Everyone is sure that you're Italian or Greek"12 up, 4 down
- When you are 6'5" 250# and your parents think you are too skinny.11 up, 3 down
- A week after Slava, Bozic, and Easter you are still eating sarma10 up, 2 down
- When you think there is no better thing in the world but to dip bread in the lard dripping from a roasted pig10 up, 2 down
- When your date comes to pick you up and your dad sits on the couch cleaning his hunting gun10 up, 2 down
- When 3 different strangers are waiting for you at the airport to collect their gifts that you are carrying with you11 up, 3 down
- Your Baba can only cook in quantities of 20.14 up, 6 down
- When your friends can't believe you got drunk at a church function13 up, 6 down
- When you insist on talking Serbian even when you're with your American friends11 up, 4 down
- After a few years of working there is a pattern on your leave of absence, you are sick every year on the 7th, 14th, and 20th of January9 up, 2 down
- You are the only race that suffers from PROMAJA10 up, 3 down
- When your tata, ujko, stric, tetak, or deda cross their legs like a woman8 up, 1 down
- If your parents think that Yugos are the best, and the whole world is just stupid9 up, 2 down
- Salata is eaten with the meal, not before9 up, 2 down
- Your MySpace page has a hundred photos with you and your friends holding up three fingers8 up, 1 down
- At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.10 up, 4 down
- You eat canned peppers and ajvar with every meal12 up, 6 down
- Your American friends will never understand why you spend so much time at church events and you are the farthest thing from holy that there is9 up, 3 down
- Your tata has a smoke house and smokes all the slanina/prsut/pecenje for the surrounding serb colony11 up, 5 down
- You get scared when your dad sneezes9 up, 3 down
- When you make sure that every non-Serb KNOWS that while at the English court they were eating with hands King LAZAR was using a golden fork8 up, 2 down
- There is always "pita" on the kitchen counter and multiple pita dough bundles in your freezer at all times7 up, 1 down
- Your mom or baba only use two settings on the stove: MAX or OFF9 up, 3 down
- You have at least 3 slave to attend to on the same day.8 up, 3 down
- Your father expects you to study or "hit da books" every waking hour that he's home, and he expects nothing less than an "A".8 up, 3 down
- Whenever you went by Baba's house, she offered you supa, sarma, pecenje or kolace and got mad if you didn't eat EVERYTHING.7 up, 2 down
- When your mom tells you not to drink cold water after you have exercisedyou know6 up, 1 down
- You think the expression "Don't laugh so much, you will cry" sounds reasonable8 up, 3 down
- Every one of your relatives from the old country that immigrates to the the US is an engineer7 up, 2 down
- You read this list to your mama and tata and all they have to say in their defense is "IC NAT TRU!!!"6 up, 1 down
- When your pride is more important than your own happiness8 up, 3 down
- Every letter you receive from Yugo ends with "Posalji malo para"8 up, 3 down
- You're told to speak Serbian to be understood by the whole world8 up, 3 down
- Your parents insists on you dancing the kolo from an early age and can't leave it till they had enough taking you to lessons and that is usually around 16 years of age.6 up, 1 down
- Your parents tell you that "gurlz" love guys that can dance a good kolo7 up, 2 down
- Upon meeting another Serb, one of your first questions is, "What church do You go to?"11 up, 6 down
- When your tata is looking at an old photo album and sees himself young and says "jao sto sam bio frajer" and ur mom tells him "molim te nemoj da s...?!"7 up, 2 down
- Mama knocks on wood when saying "Hvala Bogu"8 up, 3 down
- Your parents praise the country they came from but would never move back.10 up, 5 down
- At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina".9 up, 5 down
- There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage.6 up, 2 down
- Your mother still makes your bed.9 up, 5 down
- Your dad wears dress socks with tennis shoes.6 up, 2 down
- You had to break off a tree branch from your back yard, so your dad could whoop your ass with it.6 up, 2 down
- Your dad thinks that the phone is bugged7 up, 3 down
- When all your Serbian friend's dads offer you slivo at age 16.7 up, 3 down
- All other action stops when you hear the music : "Boze Pravde", "Kad sam bio mali", or "Marsirala"9 up, 5 down
- "Your Baba lectures you everyday of your life because her own children know better than to listen to her"7 up, 3 down
- When your mum cuts your hair with a "serpa"7 up, 3 down
- You know you are a Serb when you go to the annual picnic on the 4th of July and it's a big car show where your fellow Serbs show off their cars....6 up, 2 down
- A Serbian baby shower is as big as most American weddings!7 up, 3 down
- You go to church 2 times a year... Bozic and Uskrs6 up, 2 down
- When your baba rather walk five miles to the grocery store instead of getting a ride.6 up, 2 down
- When your tata whips you before your relatives come over for your birthday...5 up, 1 down
- When at least 3 of your cousins are Cro8 up, 4 down
- When on your birthday everyone pulls your ears6 up, 2 down
- Your parents always complain about how the "matematika" you're doing in school is too easy for kids your age.9 up, 5 down
- When your parents will only go to the doctor if they are passed out on the floor or have severed a limb7 up, 3 down
- Garlic flavored boiled pigs feet spread is yummy7 up, 3 down
- When you eat any kind of meat for lunch and your baba says that the greasiest part is the sweetest.10 up, 6 down
- You have a gold chain with a 'pravoslavni krst' on it6 up, 2 down
- When you say bitch instead of beach or beach instead of bitch8 up, 4 down
- When your parents' friends have no shame to tell you that you gained weight6 up, 2 down
- Your easter eggs are coloured brown6 up, 2 down
- When you can actually pronounce the "g" in jagnje5 up, 1 down
- When your tata does a running commentary through a movie and he thinks he knows everything that's going to happen even though he has never seen the movie7 up, 3 down
- You coverted the garage into a kitchen just to feed all the family and guest that showed8 up, 4 down
- You can make a public announcement by telling just one Serb friend something in confidence.7 up, 3 down
- If u use "bre" or "j___ g_" in your dialog7 up, 3 down
- When a relative/friend comes from Serbia, they bring chocalate for the kids.8 up, 4 down
- Every car your family owns has chrome wheels.7 up, 4 down
- Your baba swears more than you do.5 up, 2 down
- Both your parents had to walk to school barefoot in the snow, 5km uphill both ways. And over rocks.7 up, 4 down
- Your dad pronounced the silent b in Climb, plumber, comb etc?8 up, 5 down
- If you are female, you first name ends in "A"7 up, 4 down
- You have a Serbian cross, flag, or icon, hanging from your rear view mirror5 up, 2 down
- If you are a girl and not married by the age of 20 you are an old maid7 up, 4 down
- Your mother insists that you must eat something with "kasika" at least several times a week9 up, 6 down
- Your mom tells you not to sit on concrete or your ovaries are going to freeze6 up, 3 down
- When you celebrate Christmas and Easter and New Year two weeks after everyone else6 up, 3 down
- You have a vegetable garden in your backyard consisting of a variety of peppers, onions and tomatoes.4 up, 1 down
- You have a freezer that is loaded with meat products, especially pork.7 up, 4 down
- When your parents constantly say you'll end up a nobody if you don't graduate from University6 up, 3 down
- You are at a zabava and guy's try to pick you up with "Hey baby, what's your slava??"5 up, 2 down
- Your tata pronounces "oops" as "ups."5 up, 2 down
- "No one has ever pronounced your last name right, and every kid on the block has a nickname for it"6 up, 3 down
- When your Baba made you drink warm water when you had a cold, because cold water would make you feel sicker7 up, 4 down
- When you say you're hungry, and then go buy pack of smokes5 up, 2 down
- When your tata is talking to you and every other word he calls you is budala...6 up, 3 down
- When you work part time and drive a BMW5 up, 2 down
- When you date someone from church5 up, 2 down
- When all your Serb guy friends insist they're Cetnici6 up, 3 down
- When your cat is named matcak and your dog is named kutcak7 up, 4 down
- You cut up some onions and garlic and then decide what you will make for dinner.5 up, 2 down
- Your majka is fond of saying "Tanks God"6 up, 3 down
- When your mama and baba have to wear 18 lbs. of gold around their necks at the zabavas "zato sto narod moze da vidi koliko smo mi bogat!"5 up, 2 down
- ..if you sit too close to the T.V., you'll get cancer.5 up, 2 down
- Your parents insist that piling blankets on your body is the way to cure your 102 degree fever5 up, 2 down
- Your house smells like luk or krompir and you get pissed because it gets on your clothes6 up, 3 down
- When you started going to the clubs at 146 up, 3 down
- When you try to spell and it comes out the way you speak it4 up, 1 down
- You have no idea why the other girls in second grade are so upset when you tell them you eat lamb5 up, 2 down
- When you were a kid you made enough money for any electronic toy you wanted every time you saw your older relatives6 up, 3 down
- You move next door to a family member to be closer but then end up not talking for something stupid someone said when they were drunk5 up, 2 down
- You don't understand the language of your church prayers5 up, 2 down
- The tunes of your popular folk songs sound oriental6 up, 3 down
- You know you are born in Australia, America, UK etc but the first words out of your mouth is Serbian and not English4 up, 1 down
- When your dad tells you not to drink so much, but he drinks non stop6 up, 3 down
- if your not married by the age of 20 your family wants to send you back home to find ?a nice boy?5 up, 2 down
- You have more than 200 serbian movies, but you have never watched them5 up, 2 down
- When you call Santa "Deda Mraze"7 up, 4 down
- When at your wedding reception as you enter the hall, they play "Marsh Na Drinu".6 up, 3 down
- When your pit bull's name is Pedja6 up, 3 down
- Your deda tells you that his family were the wealthiest in the village because they owned two cows and a donkey6 up, 3 down
- When you've heard "kuku meni" way too many times in your life ..6 up, 3 down
- A healthy Serbian breakfast is fried eggs, slanina, pogacha and a shot of slivo or rakja. Your deda has been eating this for years and has the lowest cholesterol count in the family.7 up, 4 down
- Your baba, deda, tata, mama wash off every inch of concrete around your whole house at least once a week.6 up, 3 down
- When everyone likes kolo's.4 up, 1 down
- Deda drinks rakija to "clear his throat" in the morning6 up, 3 down
- When your dad makes rakija from grapes from your backyard5 up, 2 down
- You rip the hleb and eat it dry.4 up, 1 down
- Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs.4 up, 2 down
- A Serb girl tries to look 23 but she's actually 15.9 up, 7 down
- You can derive "David" from "Zeljko".6 up, 4 down
- You own a leather jacket.10 up, 8 down
- You have three pairs of black shoes.6 up, 4 down
- Each one of your friends has a distinct, annoying laugh.5 up, 3 down
- Being someone's KUM really has no meaning.7 up, 5 down
- One of your relatives is a construction worker / painter6 up, 4 down
- You only go out of town for Serbian Tournaments and Dances7 up, 5 down
- You base your whole life on the fortune in your coffee cup6 up, 4 down
- You have a Kosovka Devojka goblen hanging on your wall6 up, 4 down
- When the head of a pig with an apple in its mouth is looked upon as a delicacy5 up, 3 down
- As a kid you are paid to steal the bride's shoe at a wedding5 up, 3 down
- You can think of nothing you would rather do an a Saturday night than go to a dance5 up, 3 down
- You cant imagine hearing a song without the obligatory "harmonikas solo"4 up, 2 down
- You know you are a Serb when you can hear your parents talking, and you are across the street.5 up, 3 down
- You know you're Serbian, when you are a fan of whatever basketball team Vlade Divac is on5 up, 3 down
- You know you're Serbian when your mom has a whole pharmacy in the medicine cabinet.5 up, 3 down
- When no matter how old you are, your parents say you are never right.4 up, 2 down
- When your baba chases you down the street with her cipela...7 up, 5 down
- When your mama gives you vodka when your teething...4 up, 2 down
- When as a young boy/girl you have your head shaved to promote a thick head of healthy hair6 up, 4 down
- A cassette or Video of Lepa Brena is in your Video case or radio5 up, 3 down
- When you open gifts not to tear the wrapping so your baba can reuse the paper and bows4 up, 2 down
- When you go on vacation and your dad spends all his time playing tablic at the hotel5 up, 3 down
- When tipping rule of thumb is: no need to tip if you will never eat at that restaurant again4 up, 2 down
- When no one enters your house through the front door. .. everyone is to enter through the garage5 up, 3 down
- When to ensure that you will never marry a non-serb, whenever you are in the car with your parents, your parents play Serb music and sing along really loud when the windows are rolled down in the car4 up, 2 down
- When your father threatens you with a papuca4 up, 2 down
- When in the family gathering every generation has its own war and is boming to talk about and be proud for surviving it.4 up, 2 down
- When you say your last name first and prefer last names that ends in "ic"9 up, 7 down
- When the hospitality is consisting in making the guest eat till he doesn't die5 up, 3 down
- Baba says "palachinki" and everyone heads for the table7 up, 5 down
- When your tata chases the pigeons off the balcony with a mop, then sits down and says "dayll be back"4 up, 2 down
- If your parents can't pronounce "turtle"4 up, 2 down
- Your baba and deda are born in Croatia5 up, 3 down
- When your baba does all the household chores4 up, 2 down
- When your mom was the only one to buy you video games and clothes4 up, 2 down
- You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan10 up, 9 down
- Your dad never told you about the birds and the bees5 up, 4 down
- You can derive "Steve" from "Nenad".3 up, 2 down
- Your Deda cuts the grass with knee high black socks and slippers.6 up, 5 down
- You work out six days a week, but somehow you dad whoops your ass in like five seconds after he comes home from a thirteen hour day from the bakery/factory/food business.7 up, 6 down
- Your dad carries around enough money to buy a car.4 up, 3 down
- You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "prsut Or salami".4 up, 3 down
- Your last name ends with a CH5 up, 4 down
- A loaf of bread is eaten for lunch.4 up, 3 down
- The minute Church services are finished you run to the bar in the Church Hall and get plastered6 up, 5 down
- You don't talk to your Kumovi3 up, 2 down
- You live with your mom and dad until you are married7 up, 6 down
- You teach all your American friends Serbian cuss words3 up, 2 down
- When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age5 up, 4 down
- You took a bath in a lavor when you were a kid.4 up, 3 down
- "Your Baba says everything you do is bad and what you need is a nice Serbian girl to take care of you!"5 up, 4 down
- You know you're Serbian when you don't work and you go shell out $300 easy on the weekend5 up, 4 down
- When you can always smell garlic on your parents breath and they insist it kills all the bacteria.4 up, 3 down
- Your parents believe that being left handed is the sign of the devil4 up, 3 down
- When your baba and deda believe that you got sick because your parents didn't feed you properly6 up, 5 down
- When you are watching your favorite basketball team and someone scores a three pointer you interpret the referee's three fingers in the air as support for Serbia4 up, 3 down
- When you bang the table and break glasses while singing when you're drunk.4 up, 3 down
- When your father says "samo ako te zgrabim ja"6 up, 5 down
- Your parents order "Pepsi , no ice"4 up, 3 down
- When returning from Jugo, everyone at the airport is staring at you becuase your suitcase smells of rakija8 up, 7 down
- You can dance a kolo to anything, including Serbian rock5 up, 4 down
- You've either thrown a hotel party or have gotten thrown out of one5 up, 4 down
- You know you're a Serb when you sing "DJURDJEVDAN" at all serbian parties5 up, 4 down
- When you roll pancakes and eat them as a dessert after dinner4 up, 3 down
- When you do not announce yourself before visiting a friend and are happy to see him/her at your door in the same manner4 up, 3 down
- When you?re BABA is criticizing you every time you say the word "picture"!4 up, 3 down
- When you say that the family is to be loved only in the photos3 up, 2 down
- When people still think you are from Siberia no matter how many times you tell them Serbia7 up, 6 down
- You think this list is way too long but have already read to the bottom because it's so funny4 up, 3 down
- No matter what the price is your Dad will still say 'kol'ko?,.., ooh, bogati, pa skupo' and 'Nasta trosis pare'.5 up, 4 down
- Your mama tells you never to cut out the "srce" of a watermelon, but the whole slice or "tata ce da vice kada dodje kuci!"3 up, 2 down
- When your Tata always says "Dodji Tati"3 up, 2 down
- When your mother in law puts garlic under the cradle of your baby to save him from "uroka"3 up, 2 down
- When your dad yells at little Serbian kids for speaking English3 up, 2 down
- You have a good husband if he works and doesn't beat you5 up, 4 down
- At your christening a silver dollar on your navel will protect you from evil and make you rich3 up, 2 down
- When you put ground potatoes in your socks to cure a fever3 up, 2 down
- When the only family u have here is your mom dad and siblings7 up, 6 down
- As a child, the babas at your church caused you permanent brain damage from asphyxiation by pressing your face into their ample boobs while shouting, "o joj, zlato!" over and over again3 up, 2 down
- When you're about 4 years old and you have to show your "cuna" to some old Serb who gives you one dollar and is pleased to see that you are becoming a man.3 up, 2 down
- Your church fries fish on Fridays3 up, 2 down
- When everytime you ask your Dad where he's going, he says; "U g____u. Oces li i ti?"5 up, 4 down
- Tata and brat drive 75 mph with one finger on the wheel and no seat belt while smoking and telling a story4 up, 3 down
- When your dad buys a car he says it's a great car4 up, 3 down
- You have 17 consonants and 2 vowels in your last name3 up, 3 down
- At least one of your friends name is "Dragan".5 up, 5 down
- You can hear your dad snoring from across the street.3 up, 3 down
- You wear a DKNY t-shirt when you work out.4 up, 4 down
- Your parents never go on vacations because they are afraid to leave you home alone for a week.4 up, 4 down
- Your mum makes her own bread and slices it with a BIG kitchen knife to a thickness of 5cm per slice.2 up, 2 down
- Your parents have gone on vacation ONCE and it was to Yugo.4 up, 4 down
- Your dad thinks he knows everything about the world today.4 up, 4 down
- When your walls are crowded with icons of saints7 up, 7 down
- Your church has a fully loaded bar3 up, 3 down
- You are high maintenance3 up, 3 down
- Your mom wears her bra as a bathing suit4 up, 4 down
- It takes over 8 years to finish college4 up, 4 down
- Rakija is used to cure all illnesses, celebrate all occasions and as a massage lotion3 up, 3 down
- Your Tata complains da ga ledga BOLE!!!2 up, 2 down
- You go to a restaurant and you bring your own drinks3 up, 3 down
- When your grandma says that farting is healthy.4 up, 4 down
- You hear the word "BATINE" and you cringe or go into convulsions3 up, 3 down
- You use Shljivovitca down the carburetor to start your 69 Dodge Charger on a cold winter morning2 up, 2 down
- "Your Baba wastes absolutley no food and even sticks flour in the freezer to keep fresh"2 up, 2 down
- When your mum calls you "stoka"4 up, 4 down
- Your parents still prefer to buy cassettes instead of CDs.3 up, 3 down
- When no matter what age you are or how much smarter than your parents you are, they will never listen to what you say 'cause you're still their little " beba "3 up, 3 down
- When your parents know everything you did at the basketball tournament before you get home4 up, 4 down
- You know you're a Serb when your neighbors never see you during Memorial Day Weekend because you're traveling with 'that choir'.2 up, 2 down
- You have not seen baba's hair since deda died.3 up, 3 down
- When your mother yells at you for taking a shower each and every morning with her sarcasm "Did you plow the fields today?"3 up, 3 down
- When you hang your clothes in the backyard on a clothes line even though you have a dryer...3 up, 3 down
- You sport the latest Nike and Adidas outfits but have never exercised in your life2 up, 2 down
- When your parents only want to invite your Serbian friends in your house4 up, 4 down
- Your mom gloats about how good Serbian food is but cooks Turkish coffee for all her friends3 up, 3 down
- When you write on your history exam that Nikola Tesla is the father of electricity not Thomas Edison and you teacher fails you.3 up, 3 down
- When you make a pilgrimage to Chicago2 up, 2 down
- When your parents tell you that the laws pertain only to North Amaericans and not them3 up, 3 down
- When your dad likes to sit home and play the harmonika2 up, 2 down
- If your real first name isn't Serbian, you have two first names -- one is definitely Serbian.3 up, 3 down
- When the first thing you do when you walk into a friends house, is take off your shoes, kiss their mom, and shake their dad's hand3 up, 3 down
- Drinking a cold glass of water will get you sick3 up, 3 down
- When beans are served and your dad tells you that you should call it "gospodin pasulj2 up, 2 down
- You can't even think about beginning the kolach until 1:00 in the morning, since it's bad luck to make it any earlier than the morning of slava.It's 2:10 AM when you realize the oven, which deda just "repaired", won't light...3 up, 3 down
- The word "Sramota!" will deter you from anything3 up, 3 down
- All Middle Easterners are "Turci"3 up, 3 down
- Deda has a 25 year club hat and license plate frame from his steel mill job and lost three fingers achieving that milestone3 up, 3 down
- Your parents buy peppers by the bushels5 up, 5 down
- When a lamb/pig was roasted on a backyard pit for your graduation party to the horror of your friends3 up, 3 down
- You have a doily covering your DVD, VCR, printer, scanner3 up, 3 down
- When you know what "merak" is and spread your arms every single time you hear "Nema raje bez rodnoga kraja"2 up, 2 down
- When there is a knock on the front door and your father asks: Who is?"4 up, 4 down
- When your tata is ironing, cooking cleaning and cooking, but when the doorbell rings, you must not open till he doesn?t put himself on the sofa with a cigarette and a turska kafa5 up, 5 down
- When you watch a movie and wait to the end to see if there are any jugovic in the credits3 up, 3 down
- Your mother serves you tea only when you are sick5 up, 5 down
- Your Baba tells you to eat ice cream only in summertime4 up, 4 down
- Your favorite phrase is "Nema problema"3 up, 3 down
- Everybody exept for your father serves the guests on "Slava"3 up, 3 down
- When everyone in Yugoslavia asks you "pa de ti se vise svidja? tamo ili ovamo?"4 up, 4 down
- When your deda drives a Yugo4 up, 4 down
- When you pack to go for serbia and out of the 4 suitcases you are carrying, only one of them is actually yours3 up, 3 down
- When your Deda always says "Dodji Dedi"3 up, 3 down
- When your family suggests that u go to Yugo to marry your cousin so u can bring them over to Canada3 up, 3 down
- Asian people are friends with your dad because he's name is Dragan. And they think it's Dragon3 up, 3 down
- Seeing an animal's brain in the fridge doesn't freak you out3 up, 3 down
- When you mom or grandma tells you to pee before you go outside3 up, 3 down
- You use the words brat i sestra for your brother and sister and for your4 up, 4 down
- cousins5 up, 5 down
- You know when you are a Serb when you are born on a Serbian Saint Day and named after that saint.. eg Nicola, Lazer, Savo etc..4 up, 4 down
- You've convinced all your friends that Bon Jovi's name is actually Bojan Jovic3 up, 3 down
- You are named after your ujko, stric, tata or deda5 up, 5 down
- You tell your friends that you love sipak (rosehip) jam and they have no idea what it is3 up, 3 down
- If your American friends cant understand why you spend every summer vacation in Yugo4 up, 4 down
- Your Baba always gestures with a large kitchen knife3 up, 3 down
- When your neighbors think your garage is on fire, but it's just your Dad smoking meat.3 up, 3 down
- When people are readig this list and they are serious in analyzing each line, contemplating its truth in depth and giving it a historical perspective2 up, 2 down
- When you have a stomach ache and your mom says "Skupi se"3 up, 3 down
- There is no wedding without a kolo5 up, 5 down
- Not only do you eat bread with every meal, but then you use the left-over bread to wipe your plate clean.3 up, 3 down
- You dance folklor... or if you're a guy your mom makes you4 up, 4 down
- When your real name is Nick/ Nikola, serbs call you Nidjo3 up, 3 down
- When your dad has a ton of yarn socks from Serbia4 up, 4 down
- When your relative comes from Serbia they bring home-made rakia4 up, 4 down
- When your baba taught you the serbian language as a kid3 up, 3 down
- You started smoking when you went to Serbia for the first time.3 up, 3 down
- When you get back from Srbija, you immediately go on myspace and download all the songs from Serbian singers' pages. Then listen to them for 2 months before getting back to American music.3 up, 3 down
- Your dad is out in the backyard with a large bowl or plastic bag and cutting dandelion leaves with a knife to put in the salata.4 up, 4 down
- You eat bread that's ripped up in a bowl of hot milk and love it.3 up, 3 down
- Your family owns a coffee grinder..and a nut grinder2 up, 3 down
- Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac3 up, 4 down
- At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.2 up, 3 down
- You are somehow related to every 1 in 3 Serb girls/boys.2 up, 3 down
- A cold shiver runs down your spine when your mom threatens by using the word "tata" in a sentence.4 up, 5 down
- Your dad wears black socks to work everyday.4 up, 5 down
- Your Baba and Deda live in your basement.4 up, 5 down
- Your dad claims not to be a racist but insists the whole world should speak Serbian.4 up, 5 down
- Before school every morning your parents had to look after the sheep, milk the cows, gather all hay, feed the animals etc..2 up, 3 down
- You argue that your mobile phone is better than anyone else's.3 up, 4 down
- All the hot girls/guys are your cousins.3 up, 4 down
- When you are reading this list and you're cracking up4 up, 5 down
- When you make jokes based on your own tragedy2 up, 3 down
- The main menu for lunch is cabbage and beans.2 up, 3 down
- Your parents have a shot of rakija for breakfast4 up, 5 down
- You started to drink at the age of 123 up, 4 down
- There is a baba hotline 1-800-CALL-BABA4 up, 5 down
- On your birthday, your parents make you take a picture cutting the cake with a huge knife.2 up, 3 down
- You wear as much gold as your girlfriend/mother/sister2 up, 3 down
- When all your Serbian friends dad's kick your ass.2 up, 3 down
- When you had/have a pet named Mishko.3 up, 4 down
- You have a cold cellar that includes a variety of meat/deli products,pickled goods, and wine.2 up, 3 down
- When you have to reassure your Mother that her cooking is the best2 up, 3 down
- You are freaked out by 'Babaroga'3 up, 4 down
- All the older Serbs around you are always worried about drafts.2 up, 3 down
- The first conversation you had as a baby used the words "jebi ga"3 up, 4 down
- When your friends can't understand why your summer vacation consists of playing golf in a town called Farrell or Aliquippa.3 up, 4 down
- When you have a chicken running around in your back yard...3 up, 4 down
- You have a shot of rakija followed by a crna kafa and a pack of Malboro's for breakfast.3 up, 4 down
- You can spend 3hrs in a Cafe drinking the same one coffee2 up, 3 down
- Calling someone for a chat at 1am on a weeknight is the norm6 up, 7 down
- Your parents work day and night to build the ultimate brick and concrete mansion so their sin and snaja can live with them in eternal happiness2 up, 3 down
- When you're married with kids and your mother still insists on cooking and cleaning for you4 up, 5 down
- When your parents only let you go to your Serbian friends' house.3 up, 4 down
- When your tata tells you a narodna poslovica for everything single wrong thing you do and you think that he made them all up just to prove a point.3 up, 4 down
- When you beg a friend going back to Yugo to get you some Serbian cigarettes2 up, 3 down
- You know you are Serb when your boyfriend / husband says to you "cut bre"2 up, 3 down
- When you step on poop and your mom tells you that it's a sign of luck or money3 up, 4 down
- You know you're a Serb when this list keeps growing and it's getting hard to edit it!2 up, 3 down
- Baba's extra refrigerator is the back porch...3 up, 4 down
- Your first real kiss was during the Kissing Kolo.2 up, 3 down
- You know you're a serb when you are 25, live on you own, and still sneak up the stairs when you get home at six in the morning.2 up, 3 down
- Cevapcici on the grill are better than steak any day3 up, 4 down
- Your grown uncle gets a "batine" from your baba and you don't think twice about it3 up, 4 down
- You work on a construction, but when you come to YU for vacation you tell everyone how successfull "biznismen" you are.4 up, 5 down
- You listen to gusle and you actually LIKE it4 up, 5 down
- When your mom can bake a cake without sugar, chocolate, flour and oil, and she calls it " the embargo cake "2 up, 3 down
- When you're sitting in your room and listening to "narodnjake"3 up, 4 down
- You always buy a Mercedes Benz when you decide to move back to YU.2 up, 3 down
- When you think green onions from your deda's garden and a plate of salt is an appetizer2 up, 3 down
- You tell your friends to rebel when their parents tell them to be home before midnight3 up, 4 down
- You know you are a Serb when you're mom is running after you to put on a "podkusulja"2 up, 3 down
- When you are never certain whether to stay abroad or return to Serbia3 up, 4 down
- Your dad tells you "dis is the turd time I am telling you dis" and you are afraid to laugh.4 up, 5 down
- Truisms such as "you don't have to look for a fool with a lantern" and "until you are age 21 you don't have no more brains than a chicken" are meaningful to you.2 up, 3 down
- Reunions are not complete without dissension and the airing of grievances.2 up, 3 down
- You bring gifts when you come and take gifts when you leave.3 up, 4 down
- You make sure to bring pictures of your new car/apartment/house with you to YU and show them to your jealous relatives & friends but make it look unintentional2 up, 3 down
- When your tata never misses to "oglodati oko kosti"2 up, 3 down
- You know you're a Serb when your dad thinks everyone from China has a black belt3 up, 4 down
- When you have run away from Serbia and you?re still saying :It?s the best place to live!3 up, 4 down
- When you?re BABA doesn?t want to eat Pizza because it has an AWFUL name.2 up, 3 down
- When working 9-5 is like working under fascism the first question you ask at a job interview is "how much vacation time do I have"3 up, 4 down
- Your parents tell you that sleeping in a cold bedroom is good for your health3 up, 4 down
- For the first 16 years of your life you think your name is J.... Ti Sunce'4 up, 5 down
- When you have pictures of saints in your bathroom2 up, 3 down
- When your Dad insists that he must be called Tata and not Dad because to him Dad means Deda3 up, 4 down
- If you were taught to love not just your immediate family but up to your 10th cousin or more and NOT to marry them2 up, 3 down
- When you tell people you are Serbian, they always ask... "So ... What is it like there now?"3 up, 4 down
- You live in the adult world but when you go home, you feel like your 9 years old all over again2 up, 3 down
- When you're at a soccer game and your tata is yelling "j**** ja" at the whole team and all the "amerikanci" know it can't be a good thing3 up, 4 down
- When she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from2 up, 3 down
- When you are in a circle of fellow Serbs having a conversation and anything round dropped into the middle of the group becomes a soccer ball subject to juggling3 up, 4 down
- Your tata yells at you "budala, neznas nista!" when you tell him that the crowd isn't yelling "DIVAC", they are actually yelling "Defense" during the Sacramento Kings game regardless if they are home or away3 up, 4 down
- When everyone always turns over their cup after drinking tursku kafu even though they know there is no one to tell them their fortune.3 up, 4 down
- You have an ashtray in your shower2 up, 3 down
- No one believes you are a Serb if you come from Texas, Alabama, Georgia or Mississippi and have a drawl, even if your last name is Manojlovich or Bogdanovich2 up, 3 down
- When TATA goes to any professional and says STA ON ZNA, NEMA POJMA3 up, 4 down
- You know you're a Serb when your parents yell "kakva je ta skola" when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade.4 up, 5 down
- --- new entries ---2 up, 3 down
- You believe drinking the juice from the kupus barrel is as good as a flu shot.3 up, 4 down
- When your mom makes you put on a sweater in the house because SHE's cold.4 up, 5 down
- When you know the biggest killer of Serbs isn't heart disease or cancer, but PROMAJA.3 up, 4 down
- When you have a wrestling match against your dad your deda laughs.4 up, 5 down
- When every wedding you go to the kolo is always cacak3 up, 4 down
- When people at weddings shout like mad people5 up, 6 down
- When a pop has a beard4 up, 5 down
- When your mother or grandmother bathed you in a "korito" with boiling hot water when you were a baby2 up, 3 down
- Duck tape is your father's only tool next to using a kitchen knife as a screwdriver .2 up, 4 down
- Baba chased you around the house with Kamilica to drink and Vicks toshove up your nose when you had a cold.1 up, 3 down
- All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".3 up, 5 down
- You don't actually attend University, just hang out there and play "tablic".2 up, 4 down
- Even the fat Serb chicks put on the tightest skirt possible.2 up, 4 down
- You have all brand new appliances in your kitchen but your mom cooks in the basement with the stove from your old house.3 up, 5 down
- Your parents can't pronounce "Thursday".2 up, 4 down
- There's oil stains on your driveway.1 up, 3 down
- You have black hair and brown eyes5 up, 7 down
- When you speak Serbian and not English on your "You know when you're Serb" list2 up, 4 down
- Your mom uses lard instead of Crisco to fry eggs. ..... and tells you it's good for you2 up, 4 down
- When you are hopelessly trying to bring the Serbian community together3 up, 5 down
- Your parents pronounce three, thirteen and thirty three as tri, tirteen, and tirty tree.3 up, 5 down
- You get the mumps and your baba ties slabs of bacon (slanina) around your ears to cure the mumps.2 up, 4 down
- When you're an adult and still recieve Easter chocolate4 up, 6 down
- You have 4 pairs of opanke in your attic, basement, closet...2 up, 4 down
- When you're a girl, and you dye your hair no other colour than burgundy..2 up, 4 down
- "You're the first of your friends to get hair on his back, and grey hair to follow"2 up, 4 down
- You know at least 20 Tool and Die Makers or Machinists or you are one yourself.2 up, 4 down
- You always have the latest mobile phone on the market2 up, 4 down
- When your parents call relatives in Yugo they shout to be heard2 up, 4 down
- When everytime your family needs to buy a household item, your father asks the salesperson "how much for cash" and continues to bargain down for at least half an hour4 up, 6 down
- As soon as you tell a neighbour you're Serb they ask you for some rakija2 up, 4 down
- When you believe the most famous people in the world are Serbs who changed their name3 up, 5 down
- When your baba chases you around the house with a varjaca1 up, 3 down
- When you call your next door neighbor "kone"3 up, 5 down
- When the spaghetti and macaroni and cheese your mom makes tastes like lamb from the lamb grease she saved to put in everything2 up, 4 down