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Redneck Jokes

You know you're a Redneck if...



Redneck Jokes

Top 10 Reasons You know you're a Redneck:

  1. Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    72 up, 47 down
  2. You take a six-pack cooler to church.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 48 down
  3. You've played the horseshoe game with a toilet seat.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:48am. | add comment
    77 up, 59 down
  4. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 54 down
  5. You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    67 up, 51 down
  6. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    74 up, 59 down
  7. Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 55 down
  8. Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    69 up, 55 down
  9. You use a NASCAR credit card.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 56 down
  10. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    68 up, 55 down


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More about "Redneck"

Rednecks. You know who you are.

More reasons You know you're a Redneck

  1. The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    67 up, 54 down
  2. You're a lite beer drinker 'cause you start drinkin beer when it gets light.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 53 down
  3. You think the last words to"The Star Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    69 up, 57 down
  4. You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    67 up, 55 down
  5. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    69 up, 57 down
  6. You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    68 up, 56 down
  7. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 54 down
  8. Your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 58 down
  9. You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    69 up, 58 down
  10. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    67 up, 56 down
  11. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 54 down
  12. The beer can collection in the town museum is the big tourist attraction.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 50 down
  13. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 56 down
  14. Anyone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all watch this!".
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    67 up, 57 down
  15. You and your dog use the same tree.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    68 up, 59 down
  16. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 52 down
  17. You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 55 down
  18. You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D. And you said, 'Bout What?'
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 57 down
  19. On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    75 up, 67 down
  20. You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 58 down
  21. If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 56 down
  22. You think there's nothing wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 57 down
  23. You think the OJ Trial was a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 58 down
  24. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 55 down
  25. Your `huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 59 down
  26. Your pickup has a two-tone paint job -- primer red and primer gray.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 59 down
  27. "THE DAY MY SHIP CAME IN."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 57 down
  28. Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 59 down
  29. You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    70 up, 64 down
  30. Your family tree has no forks.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 57 down
  31. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 52 down
  32. A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 58 down
  33. You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 56 down
  34. Three quarters of the clothes you own have LOGOS on them.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    68 up, 62 down
  35. You own a homemade fur coat.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 57 down
  36. The FBI surrounded your trailer park twice so far this year.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 57 down
  37. You believe that beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 59 down
  38. You stare at an orange juice container because it says, "CONCENTRATE".
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 60 down
  39. "I'm not late on taking down my christmas lights, I'm just early putting them up!"
    by hey_y'all-its_mandy | September 19, 2008 at 9:31pm. | add comment
    59 up, 53 down
  40. Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 57 down
  41. On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 59 down
  42. You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 8-tracks.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 57 down
  43. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 57 down
  44. to defend your sister's honor.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    69 up, 65 down
  45. Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 60 down
  46. Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 60 down
  47. You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65mph.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    60 up, 57 down
  48. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 61 down
  49. You think the stock market has fence around it.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 62 down
  50. You couldn't learn to swim because your gene pool is too small.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 60 down
  51. You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    59 up, 56 down
  52. You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 63 down
  53. The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius because he's got thirteen fingers.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    64 up, 62 down
  54. You've been to a funeral and there were more pick-ups than cars.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 60 down
  55. It's easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 61 down
  56. During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    65 up, 63 down
  57. You think Possum is "The Other White Meat".
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 58 down
  58. You think subdivision is part of a math problem.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 62 down
  59. You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 62 down
  60. Your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 62 down
  61. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 63 down
  62. Your whole family is Democrats'cept little Mary. She lernt how to read.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    66 up, 66 down
  63. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    60 up, 60 down
  64. You use a weedeater in your living room.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 58 down
  65. If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year".
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 56 down
  66. Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 63 down
  67. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 63 down
  68. Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    63 up, 64 down
  69. You may have used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 62 down
  70. You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 62 down
  71. YOUR IDEA OF HIGH-QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT IS A SIX-PACK AND A BUG-ZAPPER.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 62 down
  72. You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    62 up, 64 down
  73. YOU REFER TO THE TIME YOU WON A FREE CASE OF MOTOR OIL AS
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 60 down
  74. You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    61 up, 64 down
  75. The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 59 down
  76. You have a rag for a gas cap.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    57 up, 60 down
  77. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 61 down
  78. You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 59 down
  79. You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    55 up, 60 down
  80. You think NASCAR stands for Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    55 up, 60 down
  81. Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    54 up, 59 down
  82. Fifth grade was the best six years of your life.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 61 down
  83. Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    57 up, 62 down
  84. One of your kids was born on a pool table.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    54 up, 60 down
  85. You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood".
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 63 down
  86. You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    50 up, 58 down
  87. You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 64 down
  88. You've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    52 up, 60 down
  89. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law against it.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 64 down
  90. Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    55 up, 63 down
  91. You think safe sex is a padded headboard.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    49 up, 58 down
  92. You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    56 up, 65 down
  93. You have a bumper sticker that says, "MY MOTHER'S AN HONOR STUDENT AT SOUTH LITTLE ROCK JR. HIGH."
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    51 up, 60 down
  94. Down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    58 up, 67 down
  95. You just bought an 8-track player to put in your truck.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    59 up, 68 down
  96. Your parents met at a family reunion.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    55 up, 64 down
  97. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    53 up, 64 down
  98. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    53 up, 65 down
  99. you can call yer pastor fer help on skinning yer deer
    by hey_y'all-its_mandy | September 19, 2008 at 9:31pm. | add comment
    56 up, 69 down
  100. You get all dressed up when going to Wal-Mart.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    51 up, 66 down
  101. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    49 up, 65 down
  102. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
    by youknowster | August 31, 2008 at 12:41am. | add comment
    52 up, 140 down

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