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Top 10 Reasons You know you're getting Old:
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- You think Iced-T is a drink.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You know Water-Gate isn't one of Clinton's scandals.
- You know what an 8-track tape player is (and swear it's better than CD's.)
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
- You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
More about "Old"Everybody gets Old right? Hey you can't avoid it, well of course you found the fountain of Youth. But until you do, here are top reasons you know you may be getting old.
More reasons You know you're getting Old
- You tell your kids their history book is wrong. You should know. You were there.
- Your kids ask if dinosaurs were black and white because they believe your were there.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guys with the Live Doppler 10,000.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off, and that bundle you've spent on life insurance is starting to look smart, too.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
- You remember "Kent State," "The Maine," and "The Alamo."
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
- You offer to explain the roots of Disco?
- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- You start a sentence with, "When I was young, ..."
- A 30-year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam
- You know the title of a black and white movie from a three second clip.
- The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
- The old clothes you have in the trunk in the attic are back in style again.
- You watched "Roots" on TV.
- You still get long distance calls late at night asking, "Did Carter really pardon the draft-dodgers?"
- You start talking about how deep the snow was when you walked to school.
- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
- When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
- You ask your kids what speed to use when you put a CD on your record player.
- You wrote letters asking Star Trek not be canceled.
- You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.
- You have record albums older than your kids.
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
- When happy hour is a nap.
- When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- You wrote letters during Star Trek's last season asking the network to cancel it.
- You use the word "cool" instead of "bad" or whatever the word is this week.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
- You say, "they played music when I were a kid not like that noise today."
- When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
- You know how the late-night movies on cable TV will end.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- You quit chasing women. Not because you can't catch them. You just can't remember what you would do with them if you did.
- Someone talks about ironing hair and you know what they mean.
- You tell the kids about the presidents you remember and they ask "What bills are they're on?"
- You think Butthead is an insult and not the co-star of a feature length cartoon.
- You tell your kids, "You'll know what I mean when you have kids."
- The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
- Having an affair is doing your wife a favor.