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Old Jokes

You know you're getting Old if...



Old Jokes

Top 10 Reasons You know you're getting Old:

  1. You and your teeth don't sleep together.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    97 up, 59 down
  2. At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    91 up, 67 down
  3. When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    93 up, 72 down
  4. Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    87 up, 66 down
  5. You think Iced-T is a drink.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    83 up, 65 down
  6. Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    78 up, 62 down
  7. You know Water-Gate isn't one of Clinton's scandals.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    79 up, 63 down
  8. You know what an 8-track tape player is (and swear it's better than CD's.)
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    88 up, 72 down
  9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    81 up, 67 down
  10. You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    75 up, 61 down


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More about "Old"

Everybody gets Old right? Hey you can't avoid it, well of course you found the fountain of Youth. But until you do, here are top reasons you know you may be getting old.

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More reasons You know you're getting Old

  1. You tell your kids their history book is wrong. You should know. You were there.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    80 up, 67 down
  2. Your kids ask if dinosaurs were black and white because they believe your were there.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    84 up, 71 down
  3. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guys with the Live Doppler 10,000.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    76 up, 64 down
  4. It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    80 up, 69 down
  5. You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    85 up, 74 down
  6. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off, and that bundle you've spent on life insurance is starting to look smart, too.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    73 up, 62 down
  7. Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    83 up, 74 down
  8. The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    79 up, 70 down
  9. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    75 up, 67 down
  10. You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    76 up, 68 down
  11. You remember "Kent State," "The Maine," and "The Alamo."
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    77 up, 69 down
  12. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    78 up, 71 down
  13. You offer to explain the roots of Disco?
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    70 up, 63 down
  14. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    73 up, 66 down
  15. When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    69 up, 63 down
  16. You start a sentence with, "When I was young, ..."
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    78 up, 72 down
  17. A 30-year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    75 up, 69 down
  18. You know the title of a black and white movie from a three second clip.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    75 up, 70 down
  19. The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    81 up, 77 down
  20. You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    73 up, 69 down
  21. You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    71 up, 67 down
  22. The old clothes you have in the trunk in the attic are back in style again.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    69 up, 65 down
  23. You watched "Roots" on TV.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    66 up, 62 down
  24. You still get long distance calls late at night asking, "Did Carter really pardon the draft-dodgers?"
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    76 up, 73 down
  25. You start talking about how deep the snow was when you walked to school.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    71 up, 68 down
  26. It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    66 up, 64 down
  27. Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    65 up, 63 down
  28. You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    70 up, 69 down
  29. When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    65 up, 65 down
  30. You ask your kids what speed to use when you put a CD on your record player.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    66 up, 67 down
  31. You wrote letters asking Star Trek not be canceled.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    67 up, 68 down
  32. You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    68 up, 69 down
  33. You have record albums older than your kids.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    71 up, 73 down
  34. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    69 up, 72 down
  35. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    65 up, 68 down
  36. When happy hour is a nap.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    66 up, 70 down
  37. When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    67 up, 71 down
  38. It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    67 up, 71 down
  39. You wrote letters during Star Trek's last season asking the network to cancel it.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    67 up, 71 down
  40. You use the word "cool" instead of "bad" or whatever the word is this week.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    72 up, 76 down
  41. You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    63 up, 67 down
  42. You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    65 up, 70 down
  43. You say, "they played music when I were a kid not like that noise today."
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    68 up, 73 down
  44. When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    66 up, 74 down
  45. You know how the late-night movies on cable TV will end.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    65 up, 73 down
  46. Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
    by Kristen Thai | August 29, 2008 at 10:09pm. | add comment
    65 up, 74 down
  47. You quit chasing women. Not because you can't catch them. You just can't remember what you would do with them if you did.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    60 up, 69 down
  48. Someone talks about ironing hair and you know what they mean.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    67 up, 77 down
  49. You tell the kids about the presidents you remember and they ask "What bills are they're on?"
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    64 up, 75 down
  50. You think Butthead is an insult and not the co-star of a feature length cartoon.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    65 up, 78 down
  51. You tell your kids, "You'll know what I mean when you have kids."
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    60 up, 75 down
  52. The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
    by Andy Thai | October 12, 2008 at 7:58pm. | add comment
    60 up, 75 down
  53. Having an affair is doing your wife a favor.
    by Kristen Thai | September 7, 2008 at 12:31am. | add comment
    64 up, 81 down

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