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Top 10 Reasons You know you're getting Old:
- You and your teeth don't sleep together.
- At the breakfast table you hear snap, crackle, pop and you're not eating cereal.
- When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.
- Getting "lucky" means you found your car in the parking lot.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with Dr.
- You know what an 8-track tape player is (and swear it's better than CD's.)
- You think Iced-T is a drink.
- You tell your kids their history book is wrong. You should know. You were there.
- You know Water-Gate isn't one of Clinton's scandals.
- You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
More about "Old"Everybody gets Old right? Hey you can't avoid it, well of course you found the fountain of Youth. But until you do, here are top reasons you know you may be getting old.
More reasons You know you're getting Old
- You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
- Your kids ask if dinosaurs were black and white because they believe your were there.
- It takes two tries to get up from the couch.
- The pharmacist has become your new best friend.
- Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guys with the Live Doppler 10,000.
- Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off, and that bundle you've spent on life insurance is starting to look smart, too.
- When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.
- Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.
- You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
- Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt - doesn't work.
- You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
- You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
- You offer to explain the roots of Disco?
- You remember "Kent State," "The Maine," and "The Alamo."
- In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
- The twinkle in your eye is merely a reflection from the sun on your bifocals.
- You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.
- You wonder how you could be over the hill when you don't even remember being on top of it.
- You know the title of a black and white movie from a three second clip.
- You start a sentence with, "When I was young, ..."
- A 30-year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam
- It takes twice as long - to look half as good.
- The old clothes you have in the trunk in the attic are back in style again.
- You give up all your bad habits and still don't feel good.
- You watched "Roots" on TV.
- You still get long distance calls late at night asking, "Did Carter really pardon the draft-dodgers?"
- You start talking about how deep the snow was when you walked to school.
- You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.
- When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.
- Your best friend is dating someone half their age, and isn't breaking any laws.
- You ask your kids what speed to use when you put a CD on your record player.
- You wrote letters asking Star Trek not be canceled.
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
- When happy hour is a nap.
- You have record albums older than your kids.
- When you're on vacation and your ENERGY runs out before your money does.
- It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
- You wrote letters during Star Trek's last season asking the network to cancel it.
- You say, "they played music when I were a kid not like that noise today."
- You use the word "cool" instead of "bad" or whatever the word is this week.
- You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.
- You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don't care anymore.
- When you say something to your kids that your mother said to You, and you always hated it.
- Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.
- You know how the late-night movies on cable TV will end.
- Someone talks about ironing hair and you know what they mean.
- You quit chasing women. Not because you can't catch them. You just can't remember what you would do with them if you did.
- You tell the kids about the presidents you remember and they ask "What bills are they're on?"
- The little old gray-haired lady you help across the street is your wife.
- You tell your kids, "You'll know what I mean when you have kids."
- You think Butthead is an insult and not the co-star of a feature length cartoon.
- Having an affair is doing your wife a favor.