you care more about getting your dog's supper ready on time than your spouse's.
when you don't think it's the least bit strange to stand outside at 4:04AM chirping "Pee Maggie...Pee for mommy", while Maggie tends to play and forget why she's out there. You can give 2 !@#$s what the neighbors think.
you go buy a king sized bed so there is enough room for pooch to sleep comfortably too.
...for the church directory.
you allow your dog to join you in the bath but not your significant other.