tags → married jokes

"You Know Jokes" tagged with married

You know you're Dating or Married to a Consultant when...

You know you're dating or married to a consultant when...
  1. Celebrates anniversary by conducting a performance review.
  2. Valentine's Day card has bullet points.
  3. Refers to lovemaking as a "win-win".
  4. Can't be trusted with the car-too accustomed to beating up rentals.
  5. Congratulates your parents for successful value creation.
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You know you're Married when...

You know you're married when...
  1. Everything feels new, even your skin.
  2. You no longer feel it's necessary to close the door when you pee.
  3. You belt out tunes while driving without thinking twice.
  4. You can go to sleep without having sex...and it doesn't mean anything.
  5. You are the proud owner of actual furniture (and it's not a futon or something inflatable or something made of beans).
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