tags → reasons jokes

"You Know Jokes" tagged with reasons

You know you are a Greek if...


You know you are a Greek if...
  1. You have a bottle of OUZO in Your house right now
  2. Your last name consists of the entire alphabet.
  3. Your conversations are based on one of two topics: Sex or sport.
  4. YOU KNOW YOU'RE GREEK IF...
  5. You have one or more of those porcelain figurines in your house
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You Know You are a Missionary Kid When...


You Know You are a Missionary Kid When...
  1. Strangers say they can remember you when you were "this tall."
  2. You never take anything for granted.
  3. You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.
  4. You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
  5. When you sing songs to yourself in a language other than English.
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You Know You are a Mother When...


You Know You are a Mother When ...
  1. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
  2. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
  3. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
  4. As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
  5. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
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You know you are an Independent Musician when...


You know you are an Independent Musician when ....
  1. you have never actually released a CD
  2. all record companies and music publishers are like black holes for your CDs. They get in but no one ever hears from them again
  3. you have a gig coming up, and you are passing out 4"x5" fliers to everyone
  4. you just plain and simply love music and being a musician
  5. your guitar string just broke
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You know you are from Arkansas when...


You know you are from Arkansas when...
  1. You either live on a farm or know someone who does.
  2. You can experience all four seasons in the same week.
  3. A '65 Mustang is the equivalent to the Hope diamond.
  4. There are no men in church on the first day of deer season
  5. The most popular place to be after a football game is Wal-Mart (please bring cameras).
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You know you are from South Dakota when...


You know you are from South Dakota when...
  1. Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
  2. You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
  3. When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
  4. Using the elevator involved a corn truck.
  5. You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
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You know you are in Arizona When...


You know you are in Arizona when ...
  1. The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
  2. You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  3. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
  4. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  5. You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
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You Know You are in San Francisco when...


You know you are in San Francisco when...
  1. You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to SF and you couldn't figure out how to drive to Coit Tower if your life depended on it.
  2. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has two pierced ears, a nose ring and is named "Breeze," and, after telling that to a friend, your friend still needs to ask if the teacher is male or female.
  3. You keep a list of companies to boycott.
  4. A man walks on MUNI in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
  5. You never bother looking at the MUNI line schedule because you know the drivers have never seen it.
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You Know You're the Parent when...


  1. By the time you go through the whole stuff-gathering kid-loading getting-into-the-car ritual you've forgotten where you're supposed to be going.
  2. When shopping for kids clothes, you don't just look at how cute an outfit is, but if it's 100% cotton, has tags, that can be easily removed, is hard to take off, can fit over AFO's and feeding tubes, is trach friendly, and covers an ostomy bag well.
  3. You know the "good vein", and what color vials they will need for the blood draw.
  4. When walking down the hall of you local children's hospital, everyone from doctors to the cleaning staff, addresses you and your child by name.
  5. You don't go into a restaurant with your child without checking to see if it has the one item he'll eat. And you might even want to take a look at it to make sure it'll be acceptable to him.
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