You consider Northern VA to be in no way similar to southern VA.
There are at least fifteen ways to get everywhere and you know which way to go based on the weather, time of day, current political climate, terrorism road closures, and whether you are coming or going. (This one cracked me up because it is sooo true.)
You have the Metro map memorized, yet act like you don't know when someone asks you how to get to Metro Center.
Use a soft J sound.
You don't consider exploding man hole covers to be an unusual occurrence.